April 16, 2011
-
A New Chapter – The Heartbreak
A long long time ago.
This blog began mainly because I was heartbroken.
Years later, a 6.5 old relationship had ended… and I’m heartbroken again.
While it’s strange that at 28 years old I still feel the same loss of breath and cold trembles when I realized that she was no longer going to be a part of my life,
I guess that at this age I had attained a certain maturity to realize that life goes on, and that I can’t just did what I did when I had my first heartbreak.
In the past I’d probably just spend days crying, cuddling in bed and being all vulnerable and all.
Yesterday I cried myself to sleep yes, but this morning went on to attend a career briefing, then performed Street Magic to raise funds for the Japan Earthquake as a volunteer in Town,
and went to confront my now-ex-girlfriend about a possible 2nd chance.
For the first time, I saw how determined she was to stick with her decision.
No more tears, no more of that soft fragile girl I dated for 6 years…
but a very strong willed girl who probably spent alot of time thinking seriously about us.
In that aspect, I was glad that she understood what she really wanted now and wish her all the best.
While it feels horrible to be the one cast away,
I came home feeling somewhat comforted, knowing that everything seems clearer…
and whatever doubts I had had been confirmed.
Knowing this, gives me the strength to move forward I guess.
And of course with the help of an old friend who also walked through such difficult times with me in the past,
she gave me advice and encouragement.
It’s funny how things unfold in life.
At one point in time, I felt this was it – she’s the one.
And then suddenly everything turns around and she starts to ignore my pleas, let alone see me again.
I think it made it easier knowing that in the end, she would probably be better off with one of her suitors.
Someone who can give her a sense of security and have the same level of maturity she has.
I was very tempted to throw every picture away we had,
but maybe like always with my past lovers, I would find a box (a big one this time) to put all the 6 years of stuff into.
The soft-toy with her recorded voice saying “I love you.”
The art work she did for me when we dated.
The couple watch we bought for Valentine’s day.
The ring I wrote on every youtube video in the past.
And the “Tinklet” she bought for me.
Goodbye my dear.
There had been times we wished we could forget,
but I could honestly say that it was an awesome journey together
