December 13, 2004


  • "So long has passed, yet so little had been done.

    And I was left an empty shell again.

    Yet yesterday when I stepped back into that holy place,

    My spirit flamed and I felt the joy fill my heart.

    Sitting beside me was someone I had been praying for,

    Someone dear, someone I love, someone I sincerely hope for.

    For her heart to be open, and for her ears to understand...

    The Truth that lies before her, hidden from Men.



    Realization is a form of revealation,

    and those who understand shall obtain its power.

    The power to change, to have undeserved favour.

    That is the supernatural blessing of God.

    No more shall I put my pride into my humanly abilities,

    No more shall I succumb to consider my prowess.

    Now I shall reside on that perfect image on His right hand,

    so that my borderless blessings shall continue to flow.



    Hopefully, the one wish I have for Christmas shall be fulfilled.

    So that my story may have a wondeful ending and a bright future.

    Alas, not all good things must imply a good future.

    But I will trust in my Father in Heaven.



    Perhaps the consequence of my wish should not be desired,

    But I have no choice but to proceed for His purpose.

    To Find is to lose.

    To lose is to Find.

    I've found what I never want to Lose,

    Will I be able to Lose it so that it may Find?"


    Many was wondering what I was busy with during the past weeks.
    After the liberation from the hazardous NUS exams,
    I treated myself to seeming paradise by purchasing Half-Life 2.
    One of the highly anticipated games I was looking forward to.
    Alas, this supposedly awesome game was a let down.. why?
    Because I was stuck with installation errors, and memory errors.
    Better yet.. ever had to wait for 4 hours for online verification and decryption?
    This game does it all...
    Make ya wait wait wait.. and when its done? ERROR.
    I felt like !(*&%(!@&(!$@$*#
    Finally after upgrading my motherboard from the old First Gen P4 SD RAM,
    to a Gigabyte  8RTS P4 HT 3.0 with Geforce FX5500 and 1GB RAM...
    I can run Halflife 2....

    The texture.. the smooth gameplay..


    The realism and details of lighting and decals...


    And this was on the LOWEST graphic setting!!!!


    But.. after the joy and happiness of HL2ing..
    I tried to play my good 'ol Counter-strike: Condition Zero.
    Seems like my controls were gone.
    No problem.. just reconfigure.
    Played for 5 mins... noticed a connection problem.
    No problem... just reconnect.
    then..

    Darkness. A Flash. A Beep...

    the computer restarts...
    I felt like !(*&%(!@&(!$@$*#

    Days gone by again,
    And its back to going out with friends, seeing what orchard's like.
    Christmas always feels odd to me whenever I look at the decorations.
    It's as if the world's missing the main point.
    Sad, but the spirit of giving doesn't seem to... influence me.
    Anyways, It's still a nice place to be..
    walking along a busy road, surrounded by electronic candles.. heh


    City of Lights... woohoo!


    My dear's favourite Gingerbread man. Reminds me of Shrek..

    I am especially grateful to my Rag Dance friends for the stuff they have.
    it's always such a joy to be in the company of friends.
    I mean.. they ain't just friends..
    We've endured together, struggled together.. and worked together.
    Feels nice to be.. part of their memories.
    Hehe.. from the house fun we had at Carol's...
    to the ":Volleyball" and Bridge and.. games..
    It was awesome!

    My neighbour & Dance friend Carol and Kelly! I think.. haha


    The man who commands and conquers. wahahha


    The beach guys! Calvin, Weixuan and Friendster. wahahha

    Carol again, Madonna Liling & Dexter demonstrating resonance.

    While at Orchard these days,
    I've managed to do other stuff too!
    Went out with close friends and buddies..
    And when the season's here... u see Xmas trees all around!!!
    I'm going to put up my Xmas tree soon too.. woohoo!

    <--- Where is this Tree from?

    <-- what about this?

    This? -->


    And that's just about the sum of my Orchard experience.

    A few days ago.. the 5th of December,
    Was a special day for someone who was part of my memory.
    Vanessa's 21st birthday had finally arrived.
    And it was an honour to be invited to her party.
    i was extremely relieved that Henry was there..
    my old classmate from ACS barker, a true friend and buddy..
    glad to have caught up with him.
    If not.. I'd feel so.. formally out of place!
    haha, Interestingly though felt a little de javu.
    A long time ago, I was asked to sing her the song I made for her.
    The song she never heard back then.. "December Night"
    Back then i declined.. feeling shy and perhaps reserved.
    But that night, her brother vincent.. and her medicine proffessor requested so,
    And perhaps to make the past right, and for her sake on her birthday..
    I sang the song for her with everyone listening along..
    All in all, it was a good time, great taste.. at Vandonald's.


    The girl in white... 21 years old finally.. Miss Butterfly.



    Ok, so now... since I can't play HL2 because of CS:CZ.
    And since my com's upgraded...
    Wonder how doom3 and CS would look like with the new graphics card?
    Behold.
    What you are about to see, are the LOWEST graphical settings of Doom 3 and CS:CZ


    It's more scary than exhilerating actaully... Doom 3 is.. Ack.


    Into the mirror, a devilish enemy comes from behind.


    I thought they'd tone down the devilish content. I was wrong. Ugh.. this game is..
    Unholy Gross and Violent. Not a good Xmas gift.


    Ahh.. my favourtite online game never disappoints me. with the new Graphics...


    ...The details in the background.. are astounding. Love it!

    And though the PC games had been taking away my attention.
    I can never neglect the growing anticipation for 2 games I've been waiting for.
    I went, I saw.. I bought.
    These games belong to me now. mwahahha



    Final
    Fantasy I and II redone and remade for the GBA with enhanced graphics,
    music and revised storyline. Bound to captivate any Final Fantasy
    enthusiast, this game marks the beginning of an Epic Series that had
    influenced the RPG gaming industries globally.

    The bridge between Kingdom Hearts and Kingdom Hearts II, lies in this
    game, the Chain of Memories. The real truth of the darkness that
    threatens the worlds shall be revealed here. An all new battle system
    with new graphical displays such as FMVs, this game rocks and had been
    sold out the first day it was released. For the mentally challenged and
    the creative alike.. This game makes this 21 year old play the GBA
    while on the MRT or bus.

    the holidays are ending soon..
    not sure if I can accomplish these "missions"
    But I for one never believe that my time can actually go to waste.
    Every minute of my life.. be it for gaming, at the toilet or stoning...
    Actually accounts for every other event in the present from the past.
    Thus, I never regret my lifestyle thus far...
    There is a good reason why I should continue gaming.
    The answer and evidence to the relevence of my believe,
    Shall be boldly represented when the future arrives... mwahaha


    <Special Secret Ending: Another Side, Another Story XI>


    5th Hikari <Special> Hoshii no Hikari ~ Starlight
    Time
    had passed so fast. Sorry that I wasn't able to catch up with ya these
    days. Been busy with auctions, exams and loads of stuff! I'm sorry
    events had to happen in the fashion that created a rift in the distance
    between us. But hope you understand and realise that deep in ur heart,
    I'm still that big brother, mentor, teacher and helper that will try to
    see ya through when u need to. And I'll still be that Mafia who will
    not hesitate to Box the guy who bullies you! *i'll settle it with a
    game of counter-strike* enjoy your trip ya? Somehow Sunshine sounds
    better than Radiance doesn't it? wahahhaa...     The girl who spreads my
    sunshine - Starlight


    6th Hikari <Supreme> Saikou no Hikari ~ Zil
    My
    my, we've done so much, seen so much, talked so much and yet I feel
    that there's so much more awaiting us. Thanks for the moments of
    tranquility up in that high place admist a busy street. Thanks for the
    chocolates you bought me the rest in my room. Thanks for the hugs and
    words of comfort when my Physics II went Ka-Poot. Thanks for everthing
    you've done for me. I'm glad I had the chance to share with you the
    Real Reuben that i am, the way I live my life by... and the power I
    possess that only I can truely understand. Hope you'll continue to
    listen to me and accompany me... For that's my only Xmas wish. And it
    shall be for every year. Thanks for telling me more now too.. remember
    our promise? I'm sure you do. Sorry for the tears I bring sometimes,
    and for the things I've done wrong. But give me the chance to show you
    that I'm trying my best and you shall see... and when that time comes,
    I can say nothing... and you'll be able to understand everything.     My supreme light, the one who brings me joy -
    Zil